Thursday, February 19, 2009

You thought so

"Voila!" said the impersonator, and he promptly fell off the stage, having failed to produce a rabbit. The king, embarrassed in front of his guests, cried, "Off with his head!" The impersonator, satisfied with a job well done, was carried off to the dungeons to await the head chopping. He realized that he was sacrificing his life, but he figured that it was worth it. After all, was this not what he had spent all his life planning for?

Meanwhile, the king began to reconsider. Hadn't his clown served him well for all these years? Fine, so maybe he had failed at the annual meeting of kings, causing the king to become the laughingstock of his monarchical friends. But still, didn't everyone deserve a second chance? The kind ordered a stay of execution.

The impersonator was not impressed. Was this to be his lot? Would he have to mess up majorly again?

The king had the impersonator brought in and began to lecture him. "In this house, only the king gets to mess up royally!" Here the king paused to laugh at his little joke, and then had to wipe the spittle off his collar. "Since you've served me so faithfully for so many years I'll give you one chance to make good. Tonight is the final night of the conference of kings. Success brings you life, failure brings you death. Don't disappoint me."

The impersonator, who wasn't particularly fond of the king at the best of times and was now quite put out, decided to have a little fun at the king's expense before his head went flying.
That night at the conference of kings masked intruders came into the hall and started yelling, "What's with your fixation with death?" The assembled throngs were stunned at the breach of security, and in concert they yelled "Off with their heads!" The masked intruders responded, "See? We told you that you were fixated with death." The kings were infuriated, and their guards made short work of the intruders. The impersonator never got a chance to perform. 


They didn't even kill him. Just sent him to work in the fields.

He was disappointed. The king went to an oral surgeon and didn't spit anymore.


To be continued...

12 comments:

Cheerio said...

i feel like all the stories you write are mashalim,like r' nachman of breslav or something. what the nimshalim are, i'm not sure... nor am i sure i really want to know...

le7 said...

Cheerio well said.

Yeah I totally thought you were transcribing a moshel. But you wrote it.

The Real Shliach said...

Transcribe? I didn't transcribe anything here. This is all out of my head. And yeah, it does mean something. I'm just not sure what yet.

sarabonne said...

your peices tend to include quite bit of gore...but yeah, it did sound like a moshel...

Crawling Axe said...

Leave him and his students alone to play with their toys.

Crawling Axe said...

I liked it by the way. It took Tzvi Freeman’s lecture to make me realize that.

EndOfWorld said...

this sounds like a prequel to joshua. maybe his great grandaddy? in any case, why dont you also post it on your site?

The Real Shliach said...

CA: How so?

EOW: Then what would be the point of this site?

Anonymous said...

Well Done! I can see the "and now for the moral of the story!" part though.

J

The Real Shliach said...

Really? I can't.

Crawling Axe said...

RTS — it was the contrast of your story and R’ Nachman’s stories (and Tzvi Freeman’s presentation) that made me realize I liked it.

The Real Shliach said...

Hmm. Meaning...?