Monday, February 23, 2009

The Inspirational Writing Exercise

(Cheerio's Paragraph)

His coat flapped around his ankles as he strode down the dark street. He jiggled his keys in his hand and whistled along to the music streaming from his headphones. The walk sign flicked on as he reached the corner, but he still turned his head to look for cars coming. Even after a year and a half of living in Brooklyn, he hadn't grown accustomed to the one way streets. He liked it though. He wasn't quite sure why, but he liked living in New York.

(TRS' Paragraph)

Suddenly, a shot rang out. And then another. And another. Shots, that is. Suffice it to say that our hero was nonplussed, and quickly looked around for one of the ubiquitous rookie cops who had been hanging out on every street corner for the last few months. They were nowhere to be found. Our hero realized that the shots had been fired at him, and he looked around for some cover. There wasn't any, and he ducked. All this took less time than it took to write, but the murderous assailants were not to be denied, and our hero was soon lying in a puddle of blood.

(Le7's Paragraph)

He touched the growing puddle of crimson blood and painstakingly pulled his head a few micrometers off the rough concrete to take one last look at himself. He shuddered before gracefully slipping into oblivion. The street was quiet save for the rustle of a few dead leaves and old candy wrappers. The air was thick with the uneasy quietude of deceit and police sirens started to whine in the distance.

(Sarabonne's Paragraph)

It was but a few minutes later that Henry found himself ambling along the same street feeling sorry for himself. Here he was, 43 and dressed as Little Bunny Foofoo for some brat's birthday. He had heard the shots and promptly ignored them. Last thing he needed was some idiot cop playing games while he was in the bunny suit. God it was hot and the polyester itched terribly. Henry was mid-spit when Gary came into sight. Choking on saliva, he ran to get closer. Blood was everywhere. "Aw man..." he muttered.

(Dovid's Paragraph)

"Gary Feld is a 22 year old Caucasian male brought in this afternoon with a gun-shot wound to his left hip, he has no significant past medical history and is now in stable condition. He will be admitted to the surgical floor shortly. A surgical and anesthesiology consult has been ordered. He is being given morphine as needed for pain.” Hearing his name, Gershon groggily opened his eyes, slowly remembering the events of the day. The dim light shining from the metallic stand was painfully bright and made him conscious of a splitting headache. He quickly shut his eyes, but not before he caught a blurred glimpse of his surroundings. There were two women in white coats standing by his bed in the emergency room. The younger one presenting his case was clearly nervous and stuttering, almost cowering in the presence of the older scowling lady. He also thought he saw an obese African American man dressed like a nightmare bunny eying him curiously. Morphine can do strange things to you he thought as he drifted away.

(RAW's Paragraph)

Meanwhile, our "hero" Gershon's shooters continued on to their main objective: Gershon's residence. Gershon’s basement apartment was situated in a residential neighborhood. The presence of these tough, well armed men would obviously attract attention, but they made no attempt to be discreet. Their mission as they had planned it would not take more than five minutes, and they hoped to be out of the apartment long before the police arrived. Before their M-class Mercedes had completely stopped up outside the house, the men dashed to their assignments. There were four of them. Two took up guard positions outside the house. The other two shot off the bolt on the door and went inside. They knew exactly where to go. In the bedroom was a small, portable safe. It was a junky contraption, and they easily shot off the lock. Inside were neatly arranged packages of cocaine. They stuffed the whole safe into a medium-sized gym bag and left, satisfied that they had found everything they had come for. “Let’s go. We’re done here,” the leader said, stuffing the bag into the trunk of the car. All four men jumped back into the car. Police sirens could be heard in the distance as their car screeched away into the night. Nobody was going to catch them.

(EndOfWorld's Paragraph)

Dina Light snickered as she watched the taillights of the receding car. She waited another minute (56 seconds, to be precise) before getting up from the ground. She casually sauntered down the block, trying to put as much distance between herself and the now obviously-broken-into house. Amateurs. But she would have loved to be there when they opened those bags. She snickered again. Amazing how one box of confectionery sugar can go such a long way. She reached into her bag and gave her semi-automatic a reassuring pat. She reached a little further, past the glock, the colt, the pepper spray, the hunting knife, where was it? Ah. She uncapped the lip gloss, applied a thin coat to her lips and resolutely strode off. The job of a narcotic officer never ended. Time to find Gershon and save the world. Again.

(CA’s paragraph — feel free to trim; sorry, I said I suck at fiction; plus, I am packing for moving)

Henry paced nervously in the ER waiting room. Detained as an attempted murder witness, he was stuck, in his bunny suit, in the hospital, in a nervous state of mind. Henry, a hypochondriac suffering from OCD, did not like hospitals. Besides, he was under a court order to stay away from buildings with fire alarms. Henry had a compulsion to pull them — the red color, the feeling of a pulled lever, the sirens, the lights… Henry gulped nervously and started pacing back and forth. He was going to stay in control. This obsession had him arrested five times, cost him his job and luxury apartment in Manhattan, estranged him from his family and pet iguana. But today he was going to stay in control!.. Henry entered the bathroom. The first thing he saw was a bright-red fire alarm. Staring at him. Sneering with its lever’s white outline. Inviting. Henry backed nervously towards the sink and suddenly realized that his bunny suit’s hands have no zippers. He had no way to splash some water on his face. A scrubbed-in intern with a walrus mustache opened the door of a stall and dropping “Howdy, partner?” in a thick Texan drawl left the bathroom. Without washing his hands. This was too much for Henry. He turned to the fire alarm and licked his lips, tasting bunny fur. The last thought that entered his mind before he reached for the lever was “Ben told me to try pancakes with sour cream in that Russian place”. Henry filled his lungs with slippery air of the hospital bathroom and pulled. Fire alarm exploded in Henry’s head with hundreds of bright sounds. Loud flashes, bouncing off the white bathroom walls, pushed his tortured mind off the cliff, into the abyss of primeval insanity. Ricardo, a hit man for the Colombian mob sent to the hospital to finish off Gershon, entered the ER waiting room and was knocked off his feet, unconscious, by something bright-pink with big ears that ran out of the bathroom, charging towards the ER exit.

25 comments:

Crawling Axe said...

Actually, this looks like a run-on paragraph. Should really be three or four. Anyway, feel free to trim anyone.

Crawling Axe said...

Oh, and what color is the rabit? At first I made him pink, then saw the comment about “black rabbit” and changed to black. Then realized that it’s probably not the rabbit who is black, so changed back to pink.

Dovid said...

LOL, this story is just crazy.

Dovid said...

Whose next?

Dovid said...

I left a comment on A Bochur in Lubavitch, maybe one of the people there will continue. Otherwise I guess we go back to cheerio. And after cheerio its TRS, and you know what that means.

Crawling Axe said...

Somebody gets killed?

Dovid said...

Most probably everyone gets killed.

But its good we have sarabonne batting after TRS, she can resurrect them or something.

Dovid said...

I mean LE7 batting after TRS.

sarabonne said...

This is excellent. Bravo

EndOfWorld said...

this was awesome. i love how every paragraph is so different. we are certainly a talented bunch. is anyone going to tag nemo?

Dovid said...

ya it would be great to have Nemo write something. Can you tag him?

The Real Shliach said...

Do I really have a reputation as a mass murderer?

Dovid said...

Well no one's died yet, so I guess you're not even a murderer. But I think if you manage to off henry, dina, and gershon, plus a couple random extras you might just achieve mass murder status.

The Real Shliach said...

Ahh.

Dovid said...

Wait... I didn't mean to encourage you to off them, I hope that "ahh" doesn't mean what I think it means.

The Real Shliach said...

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Crawling Axe said...

Anybody killed can always be resurrected. And not even using the “and then he woke up”.

Dovid said...

Unless they don't believe in techias hameisim then they aren't resurrected.

sarabonne said...

Don't worry, I've already thought of a plan in case he does. Mass murder that is....

Crawling Axe said...

By doing a complete teshuva and bringing Mashiach? :)

sarabonne said...

mmm, well yes....there's that, and some others. hehe

Cheerio said...

CA - loved this. the characters grow more and more interesting with every paragraph. and yours was really funny. the last line, especially.
i'll tag nemo - let's see who else we can get involved before we start our second turns. wasn't mottel ever going to post something...?

le7 said...

I believe Mottel has had some internet issues, so maybe we could give him another chance at some point?

EndOfWorld said...

wow, this is turning into a tight clique.

anyway, i found the clipping to be the hardest part of writing. there are so many ideas and plot twists to be done...and to cram it into one small paragraph....i'm amazed that everyone else (except for ca who posted that little disclaimer) made it seem to easy...

Mottel said...

-Cheerio: i haven't had internet access (I schlep to the outside of an apartment building and mooch off of a friend - I'll take it from here - after CA and have something soon. Sorry about all of this :-)