This story takes us back many years. 2.4 billion in fact. this is where my awareness first existed. Previously it had been a small crack in a glacier somewhere off the coast of nowhere. The thing was that all the other cracks in glaciers all the world over were losing their identity by the huge pieces of ice closing them off. This was of course a tremendous blow to their ego, and so some of them, by force of instinct and a tremendous will to exist, became what we now take for granted: our own awareness. Of course the fact the that these awareni and the homosapians collision is a total coincidence and you can of course see many people who lack this special quality.
Many years passed before my awareness developed brain cells and what not. Legs seemed like a good idea till i realised i could not fly with them. It took a further billion years to notice that they look better in flat fronts.
One thing it really hated was having to breath that obnoxious oxygen, i mean of course anything in the universe tastes better than vile oxygen, it took several million years to develop a taste for it after it came into style.
So anyway i was just getting wind of some carbon dioxide in the atmosphere when everyone starts going green. I mean please, just when something good starts some people have to ruin it. I would even consider just waiting a couple billion years till the next ice age and i can snuggle back into a comfy glacier if it werent for the 15% i was saving with Geico.